When I was 11 years old, my mother silently snuck into my bedroom. Under the cover of midnight, she sat cross-legged at the end of my bed and proceeded to give me The Talk, although it was more of a whisper. Instead of focusing on the anatomy of sex — the biological prophecies by which, some say, our bodies were made to meld into one — my mother chose to emphasize pleasure. She spoke about the importance of passion: pursuing it, asking for it and finding it within yourself. Society has a tendency to perpetuate this idea that the older a woman grows, the more she yearns for the beauty of her youth. It was once bewildering to me that my mother could be so candid about sex.
I’m a Fifty-Year-Old Mom. I Just Had Sex in the Back Seat of a Car.
Three Older Women Share Their Histories with Sex and Pleasure
Photograph: iStock. She was sophisticated, stunningly beautiful and seemed beyond my reach. She was also 18 years older than me, but then it did not seem to be a problem. I chased her for a long time and, as I was lucky enough to make a lot of money, I was able to treat her to all kinds of luxuries. She was very wary at the time, saying that the age difference was too much and she was worried that she would regret it later. I brushed all this off as I was blindingly in love and, eventually, we got married and for many years it was brilliant and we were totally into each other. I am no longer attracted to her physically and she is not interested in sex — in fairness, she probably has been pretending to have an interest for a long time.
Age disparity in sexual relationships
Significant age disparity in sexual relationships has been a feature of both heterosexual and same-sex couples in many cultures and societies. The most common pattern in heterosexual couples is an older man with a younger woman. This may be brought about as an arranged marriage , or either member may pursue and initiate the relationship in those societies that favor freer association. Situations involving a younger male with an older female also exist, but are not as common. Age disparity in extreme cases may be seen as dysfunctional a paraphilia if such relationships are pursued to the exclusion of all others and to the detriment of the partners.
For women over 30, dating can be a minefield. There are fewer single people generally, and yes, there will be some men your age specifically seeking out younger women. We live in a society that worships at the altar of youth — particularly when it comes to women.